workaround:
public MainWindow()
{
    InitializeComponent();

    this.grid.Loaded += grid_Loaded;
}

void grid_Loaded(object sender, RoutedEventArgs e)
{
    this.grid.ChildrenOfType<Grid>().FirstOrDefault(x => x.Name == "PART_OuterGrid").RowDefinitions[1].Height = GridLength.Auto;

    var cells = this.grid.ChildrenOfType<GridViewHeaderCell>();
    foreach (GridViewHeaderCell cell in cells)
    {
        cell.ChildrenOfType<Grid>().FirstOrDefault(x => x.Name == "PART_OuterGrid").RowDefinitions[1].Height = GridLength.Auto;
    }
}